If you give a mouse a cookie
chances are he's going to ask for a glass of milk
So Iām not going to lie
I had to google the sentence that came after the one first one. āIf you give a mouse a cookieā was a favorite childrenās book of mine growing up. Actually I was never all that into reading. Still not by the way. Iām honestly not even sure if I liked this particular book or not, but for whatever reason I still remember it even at the age of 29, and that seems notable now.
What I do remember is that this is the story of a mouse who starts by getting a cookie, and then he suddenly wants more and more things and becomes more and more greedy and driven by desires for things he never would have even thought aboutā¦.had he not originally gotten that cookie.
For example:
If you give a mouse a cookie,
He wants milk.
If you give a mouse milk,
He wants a cup.
If you give a mouse a cup,
He wants matching plates.
If you give a mouse matching plates,
He wants granite countertops.
You get where Iām going with this yet?
Last week I opened Substack, cracked a seltzer and spilled out my soul on how I had hit a breaking point. I lost my edge. I was questioning everything. How can sports be soā¦bad? How can bets be soā¦.awful? I practically begged for a winner.
And then?
I hit every single individual play I sent in the newsletter last week.
Wait, what was that?
I hit every single individual play I sent in the newsletter last week.
I missed about 6 parlays by one-leg each. It was a GREAT week. But it should have been an ALL-TIME WEEK. I really canāt complain. Itās just so good to have the juice back. And yetā¦.
If you give a Greg a win, heās going to ask for a life-changing parlay.
Themās the rules. Picks.
10 quick-hitting solo plays with a one sentence explainer why Iām betting it:
Clemson -13.5 vs. Syracuse - Cuse is the most fortunate team in CFB and their only gameplan is to ābe orangeā and you canāt out-orange Clemson
Kansas +10 at Baylor - 10 is too many points even without Daniels, mostly because Baylorās offense is the football equivalent of walking barefoot on lukewarm pavement
LSU -1 vs. Ole Miss - Line feels trappy, itās like Vegas wants you to take Miss, and if their QBās name wasnāt Jaxson Dart then we wouldnāt pay any attention to them
Oklahoma State +6 vs. Texas - Iām all over OKST, Moneyline includedā¦I think Sanders plays and this line is ludicrous
Purdue ML at Wisconsin - HAVE YOU SEEN WISCONSIN?????????
UCLA +6 at Oregon - too many points too many points too many points Bo Nix key interception late
Wake Forest -20.5 vs. Boston College - BC is the worst CFB team Iāve watched this season and prone to getting ran by good offenses
Mississippi State +21.5 at Alabama - Nick Saban off a loss yada yada yada this team isnāt that good and itās time to trust that
Kansas State +3.5 at TCU - Iām kinda buying KStateā¦time to actually bet them and see if it sticks
Minnesota +4.5 at Penn State - PJ Fleckās auditioning for the Nebraska job, he needs this.
PARLAY THEM ALL TOGETHER YOU HOOLIGANS ITāS TIME!
$100 to win $65,076.92. This is my greatest gift to you. Youāre welcome.
Hereās Druski if his teams never won anything.
If a 6ā7 man giggles in his living room typing a newsletter but no one is around to hear it what sound does it make? Not sure if that phrase is correct or if it was used correctly but Bill Hader with a Stanley cup did get a laugh out of me with that Druski line. Now letās get a temp check on where we are at. I had a tough week last week on the newsletter which for those keeping track at home is uncommon with me. I could not bet again but what would that make me? What is Benjamin Franklin said ānah Iām good on electricity, fire will have to doā or if Mark Zuckerberg said āI rather stalk people in real life I donāt want to do it on the internetāā¦.the world would be a different place and with that said lets get to the bets:
DISCLAIMER: I endorse Gregory Ramone Waddellās following picks (1,2,4,5,6,7, and 9)
Houston -2.5 vs Army
4:13 Book of Himothy: āThou shall fade all military schools when it comes to bettingā. Imagine running the triple option in 2022ā¦it was really cute and quirky when yāall did it a couple of years ago but lets grow up at some point. I know if other countries had a Naval Academy football team on my granny they would be running a spread offense. Houston has the offensive weapons to get ahead in this game and there is nothing worse than a team playing from behind if that team runs a damn triple option. Strong defensive play should stall out Navyās offense and Houstonās offensive weapons should have themselves a day.
Ole Miss +100 vs LSU
In my football playing days when you had two evenly matched teams it always came down to the little things. Like not getting taunting penalties (lol I hold the state record for this) and things such as coaching a special teams. Ole Miss has the edge over LSU in that category and I expect Ole Miss to come out on top of this game because they will execute the little things while Kelly and the boys flop.
How to stick to your health goals ā but still enjoy your weekend
Plan a fun activity that involves some form of movement and Bet
Drink lots of water and Bet
Allow yourself unhealthy foods and Bet
Try cooking a new meal and Bet
Do a yoga routine in the morning and Bet
Know before you go and Bet
ā90% of bettors quit before they hit the next big betā-Anonymous