Michael Jordan and me
Sometimes all it takes to get your mojo back is a little help from a friend
- FOREWORD BY TERRENCE JAMES III -
Saturday, September 24th, 2022
Regardless of where you have Michael Jordan in your top 3 best players of all-time (anything outside of top 2 is concerning but outside the top 3 is downright insane), one fact remains the same. In the height of his career, MJ took a short hiatus away from the game that no longer fulfilled him the way it once did. Were fans confused, concerned, and perhaps a bit upset? Sure.
But what MJ fans didn't love the clinic he put on in the early-mid 90's? Did they accept him with open arms once he was ready to return? As open as their arms could get. Going 0 for 23 on bets in a weekend or losing games on made/missed field goals can be exhausting. What l'm asking is that during this (hopefully) brief hiatus, we show nothing but love and support for our friends Carter and Greg of Sleepers Media following their press release (which sounds eerily similar to MJ's first retirement press conference):
However, just because two of the game’s best take a step away, doesn't mean the game stops. So as the modern day Scottie Pippen, let's get into Terrence's picks:
The Know Your Role Parlay (+2290)
There's nothing more exhilarating than seeing Parlay G (Greg) throw out a parlay with +10000 odds and you sit there convincing yourself it'll happen. As I mentioned earlier, Greg and Carter are MJ, and I'm just stepping in as Pippen in the interim so I'm not gonna try to do what MJ does. Here's a parlay I believe in:
Baylor ML at lowa State
Texas ML at Texas Tech
Arkansas ML at Texas AM
Oklahoma ML vs Kansas State
Western Michigan at San Jose State
Something I forgot to mention at the beginning of this write up.…it's the first official day of fall! As temperatures decrease, your pockets increase. Let's win some money and revive Sleepers Media.
(END OF FOREWORD)
I received that text, word for word, with roughly 500 more words that you have to actually be me or Carter to have seen, at 10:33AM Eastern time on yesterday, Thursday, September 22nd. Now a little context here….this isn’t a bit.
Carter and I gave up sports.
On Sunday, our Lions won. Carter (a season ticket holder) didn’t go. He didn’t even watch.
On Monday morning, he texted me: “let’s do an episode with no sports”. Done deal. They only caused sadness. They only brought misery to us and our loved ones.
I mean I sent 23 plays out in last week’s newsletter and none of them hit. NONE.
On Tuesday, I started watching a new show with my wife. We went on walks. Multiple. It was lovely.
On Wednesday, I texted Carter “can we bet on baseball?” He said no. We didn’t. It’s a good thing we didn't. The bet I wanted to bet lost.
On Thursday morning we woke up with every intention not to watch or bet on or discuss sports in any way. Then we received that text.
Now Terrence James is more than just a friend to me, he is a brother and role model. This is a man I look up to in every way (not physically of course, he’s shaped like one of those mushroom-looking Goomba things in the Mario world)
But when TJ does something, I take notice. When TJ tells me something, I listen.
Moral of the story if I’m coaching Michael Jordan and he refuses to score it, I’m still gonna start Pippen.
I read that text. I opened my DraftKings account for the first time in 5 days. I had exactly $223.28 in it.
I placed this:
What people don’t realize about Michael is that the greatest athlete to ever live on Earth almost gave up EVERYTHING because he loved being a degenerate gambler more than he loved his day job.
In the words of Michael himself…..
- I’m back -
Onto the picks:
(But first a list of all the various betting related things we had to do for “work” this week that you might find enjoyable):
On this week’s episode of The Biggest Loser Betting Show, I wore clown makeup and yelled at Carter for being unprofessional:
On this week’s Thursday Night Football Prop or Chop, they ambushed me with a montage of me talking about how much I love Cooper Rush:
I appeared on Best Bets with The Field of 12’s Rob Dauster, and we broke a ton of CFB games down in depth:
At the time of me writing this, those three videos have a combined 49 views, which really has me questioning why the fuck I am up writing this newsletter at 2am Eastern after a 15-hour work day for 3 different sports media entities.
I guess it’s just the love of the game. PICKS!
Individual plays I love, ranked on a confidence scale sorted by Adam Levine’s horny texts:
Michigan -17 vs. Maryland - Here’s a quick list of how many points Michigan has beaten Maryland by in their last six meetings with Jim Harbaugh as HC: 41, 31, 21, 25, 56, 28. This is a particularly good Michigan team. They hear the noise about “THEY HAVEN’T PLAYED ANYONE”. Maryland just so happens to be the first “anyone” on the schedule, and thus they will be the recipients of a beatdown at the Big House. I’d hammer this up to Michigan -20.
Michigan State +2.5 vs. Minnesota - This is gonna feel like I’m just picking the hometown teams but I swear to God this is phenomenal value. MSU is 5-2 after a loss under Mel Tucker, INCLUDING WINS AT #13 MICHIGAN, VS. #11 NORTHWESTERN, VS. PENN STATE (THEY WERE UNDERDOGS). They’ve won 7 of 9 Big Ten openers, and Minnesota has played the schedule everyone’s yelling about Michigan playing. I mean look at these opponents: NEW MEXICO STATE (0-4, losses to UTEP and Nevads and 59 pt loss to Wisconsin), COLORADO (0-3, lost to Air Force by 31), WESTERN ILLINOIS (AN FCS OPPONENT, 0-3 losses to Tennessee-Martin and Southern Utah). MSU bounce back spot BIG.
Boston College +17.5 at Florida State - Buy low spot on a BC team that has a (supposedly) good QB against an FSU team I’m selling. The last three meetings between these two teams have been one score games. In FSU’s last 40 ACC games, they have only won by 18+ four times. TOO. MANY. POINTS.
North Carolina -2 vs. Notre Dame - A weirdly entertaining game, the only thing I trust as a constant here is UNC’s offense. Drake Maye hit the podium this week and made fun of UNC’s rivals….I love that energy. And most importantly I think Notre Dame is really just…bad.
Wisconsin +19 at Ohio State - Ohio State beating Notre Dame 21-10 is stinky.
Wisconsin outscored non Washington State opponents 104-7 in two games. Toledo ran for 124 yards, almost 4 YPC against Ohio State last week.. Wisconsin can control this game. 9 of the last 11 against ranked teams OSU has played have covered 19. Wisconsin isn’t ranked….but they’re damn sure a top 25 team.
3 parlays presented without additional commentary because I seriously can’t comprehend how much time I’m spending on this and I genuinely doubt anyone except TJ and maybe my Dad reads these:
1. The Friday night we can’t help ourselves parlay (+761):
Virginia ML
Nevada +24.5
Boise State ML
2. The Don’t Sweat It, Just Bet It parlay (+159): THIS ONE ACTUALLY HITS
Michigan ML
Kansas ML
Houston ML
Purdue ML
Washington ML
Utah ML
3. The Longshot We Are So Due For parlay (+52284):
Michigan ML
North Carolina ML
Michigan State ML
Purdue ML
Boston College ML
Rutgers ML
Oklahoma ML
Oregon State ML
Washington ML
BONUS: Who Knows, Let’s Try It Friday/Saturday/Sunday parlay (+51780):
Virginia ML
Boston College ML
Indiana ML
Detroit Lions ML
If you read this, thank you. If you enjoy these, thank you. Cheers to a wonderful weekend. Now onto the most hilarious human I know, an undeniably talented podcast co-host, a role model of a husband and an even better friend: Carter Elliott
Hello everyone. I hope this email finds you in a place of happiness and you are at peace with where you are at in life. If I could place a bet on every player being happy and healthy after the games this weekend I would hammer that. We want to make sure all these young men are able to be ready and rested for class Monday to further themselves in the game of life. Let’s get to the plays shall we:
Michigan State +125 vs Minnesota- Did Michigan State break me last week? You bet your sweet ass they did. But this is a great position for MSU to bounce back. Minnesota is a team that is run dominant and can’t expose MSU’s shaky and injury riddled secondary. I look for Michigan State to be stout against the run and show they are the better team at home.
Rutgers +7.5 vs Iowa- I can not emphasize enough how much Iowa’s offense stinks. Rutger’s is playing at home and have enough playmakers on offense and defense to keep this game close. I think Rutger’s is in a position where they can carry home momentum and if Iowa can’t score I look for this game to be close.
Florida +10.5 at Tennessee-I know Anthony Richardson has struggled passing this year and Hendon Hooker is looking like a Heisman candidate, but with that said Florida is no scrub football team and I find it hard to believe that Florida will not keep this game close.
Longshot Parlay +6818 ($100 to win $6,818)
Rutgers +275
Michigan State +125
Arkansas +105
Florida +300
Notre Dame +110
I hope everyone has a weekend that is memorable in love and happiness and maybe even win some bets along the way.
